Yugioh! Meets Star Trek and Star Wars
by Bakabakurasotherlady
Summary: Randomness! Humor! Bakura going crazy!
1. Chapter 1

Rating: T (Because of some language and violence, some adult situations in later chapters) Humor/Humor.

Yu-gi-oh! Meets Star Trek and Star Wars:

By,

BakaBakurasotherlady

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh! Star Trek, Or Star Wars.

I do own this plot line though (I think). Oh yeah, and some of the characters are mine too.

One day at Domino City High School, Joey Wheeler, Yugi Motou, and Seto Kaiba were dueling three girls named: Tessa, Bethany, and Mary Elizabeth (who liked Ryou Bakura a lot). The boys found themselves to be losing, which shocked little Yugi so much that he past out eight times.

"How could we lose to three girls?" Joey demanded after class. Yugi shrugged, "maybe they have a better strategy?" he paused for a moment, then added; "hey, where did Kaiba go?" Joey shrugged; "who cares?"

Meanwhile, on the Enterprise, NX-01, Tessa Archer Reed and her friends had two visitors. One of them was Ryou (who Mary had used her Jedi mind trick on, tee-hee!) and a very confused Seto Kaiba. "How'd I get here?" he asked, looking around. He looked at the room that he was in: it was small, had a bunk bed, a bathroom, and two cribs in it. "You jumped into the transporter when were beaming up, duh!" Bethany Reed said, rolling her brown eyes at the C.E.O. Tessa just starred at him, "if you touch anything, and I MEAN ANYTHING! I will personally make sure that you get a photonic torpedo but your ack!" she warned, pausing for a moment, then adding "and don't test me, I know people". Seto smirked at this, "oh yeah" he said, "like who?"

"Oh like the captain of this ship, the armory officer, Atem, Yami Bakura ( who's in security (A/N: Yami Bakura with a weapon, scarry!)). Yami Marik (also in security (A/N: NO! IS EARTH INSANE!)), and finally, Yami Akasha".

At the mention of the last name, Kaiba felt his world change for the worse; "Akasha is here? On THIS ship?" he asked, worried. As if to answer him, the door chime rang, and when Bethany said "COME!" Yami Akasha was standing in the door way. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" was heard all over the ship. "I thought I heard a Baka C.E.O" Akasha said, folding her arms.

In the Armory:

"Hey, you got the Lightsabers?" Bakura asked Yami Marik, who was currently chasing DarthVader around with a glowing red lighsaber. "I'm busy right now! COME HERE VADER! FEAR MY EVIL SABER!" Marik hollered as Malik passed by on a near by scooter, snapping up the saber and beating Marik over the head with a piece of bulkhead. A LARGE piece mind you. "You dummy!" Malik said exgintishing the lightsaber, "Vader could crush you!"

End of Chappie.

Bakura'sotherlady: Review please! And thanks for reading.

NO FLAMES! All flames will be used against Kaiba.

Kaiba: "WHAT!"

Bakura: Are you going to be doing more of this?

Me: nods

Bakura: NOOOOOOOOOOO!


	2. Vader Vrs Marik: The Horror! The Horror

Chappie 2: Vader vrs. Marik: The Horror! The Horror!  
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Yami Bakura: Thank Ra.

Anyway, on with the story.

"I don't care!" Yami Marik yelled, taking the other lightsaber he had hidden and beating up Cmdr. Charles Tucker (A/N: Sorry to all the "Trip" Tucker fans out there, but it had to be done). "HA! Take that bitch!" he laughed evily. Bakura, who had been watching a phase pistol all day decided that he had enough of Marik, and shot him, repeadily. "DAMMIT!" Bakura said when he saw who he had **_actually_** hit, "I hit Vader!"

Vader only looked up at him, then, being the cool guy that he is, shrugged and continued towards the two Ishtars. Malik managed to get away on the scooter, while Vader cornered Marik against a bulkhead. Marik yelped and swung his lightsaber like a little girl.

Vader slapped his forehead;_ this is going to more then easy,_ he thought. "Hey Marik! Look! I have a shiny black helmet!" he said, gesturing at his shiny black helmet. Marik begame so fascinated with Vader's helmet that he stabbed himself with the lightsaber.

Bakura, seeing this, laughed.

Atem walked in, took one look at what was going on, screamed, then ran at the dark lord with a mace. Which hit him in the head. Vader laughed quietly at this, but when Atem looed back up at him, it was a very angry Anakin Skywalker that greeted him. And behind him, Atem's friend: Hannah Kenobi, who was Skywalker's granddaughter. Both Jedi lit up their lightsabers, "Hannah! I thought that I was your friend!" Atem said, fearing for his undead life. "You are," she said evenly, "but when you hurt my grandfather, I will hurt you".

Atem gulped and ran out of the armory.

Wow. Two chappies finished in one day!  
Vader: I beat Marik!  
Marik: DID NOT!  
Me: SHUT IT! BOTH OF YOU!

Review please!

Duke Devlin: The Insanity!


	3. Yugi Comes Aboard

Chappie 3: Yugi comes aboard.

Disclaimer: I own nada.

(Well, that's not true, I own Akasha, Hannah Kenobi, but that's about it).

Tessa was watching "The Simpsons" (A/N: Don't own) when a certain C.E.O came up from behind her. "You like _this?_" Seto said, gesturing at the t.v. set. "Yes, yes I do" she returned, gritting her teeth. Bethany, who had also had of Kaiba, got up and walked to the transporter chamber, where she found that their friend Yugi was waiting to beam up. "Ok, hold on Yugi, she said pressing the buttons that she needed to. Minutes later a confused Yugi stood before her, "BBBethany?" he asked, feeling a little afraid.

Bethany smiled warmly at him, "yes, that's me Yugi" she greeted. "Welcome to our 'house'" she finished. Yugi smiled back. Then a thought came to his mind, "is Atem here too?" he asked, the sugar that he had just eaten finally beginning to kick in. "Yep, he's in security". Yugi's eyes lit up, and he began jumping up and down on the transporter pad: "I WONNA SEE HIM! CANS I? CANS I?"

Bethany nodded, and Yugi followed her into the corridor. "Where are we?" Yugi asked when he had calmed down some. "Enterprise: NX-01" Bethany said as she pulled her little friend out of the way of a running Atem and lightsabers carzed Jedi. "ANAKIN! HANNAH! PUT THOSE AWAY!"

Both Jedi did as they were told.

Atem saw his aibou and stopped running. "Yugi! You Came!" Atem said as he wrapped his arms around the littler gamer. He glanced up at the other Jedi, "Bethany" he greeted just as warmly.

Just then, Kaiba, who had been watching "The Simpsons" for about four and a half hours now, finally came out of the quarters that he and Ryou had been sharing with the girls, his eyes swirling.

"Kaiba, what's wrong?" Yugi asked.

"Yoda, Yoda" was all that Kaiba said. From behind him, a short, green Jedi Master with long ears and raggedy clothing came out with a Wookie named: Chewie. Chewie growled something that made everyone know just how mad he was. "Enough that is! So sorry am I" Yoda said. "Yeah Chewie" Tessa said from behind, causing everyone to look at her, "if I had known that Bakura was going to to put that casserole in there with us, I would have shot him myself". Chewie growled his agreement.

Yugi looked up at Atem, "Aibou, who" he said pointing at Yoda, "is that".

Atem shrugged "I think that's Yoda, a very old and wise Jedi Master".

"Oh, Ok".

End of Chappie 3

Bakura: laughing evilly evil casserole!

Chewie: Chasing after Bakura.

Me: CHEWIE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!  
Please Read and Review! Thankies!


	4. YOU WANT SOME OF THIS!

Chappie 4: You WANT SOME OF THIS!

Disclaimer: See previous chappies.

Yoda glanced at the two pointed haired teenagers, but said nothing and walked way.

Meanwhile, in another part of the ship, Bakura had finally woken up only to find himself at the mercy of a very noisy five year old girl known as Elise. She was blonde, had blue eyes, and was very annoying, at least to him.

"HI KURA!" she greeted, making Bakura wince. "Runt," he returned. "What are you doing here?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Elise's expression changed from the sweet, loving child he had just seen. _Not good,_ he thought to himself.

Elise smacked Bakura, sending him flying back onto the bed. "That's why!" she said as she got up and left the room.

She passed by her parents in the corridor and smiled brightly at them. They returned the smile and watched as Elise ran off to join her friends.

Then they returned to the discussion of how Bakura was able to get a casserole into the Tessa's quarters without even being noticed by the other members of security.

They had asked Ryou and Marik, but neither of them had been any help at all.

Flashback

"Because he wanted to, duh" Marik answered.

End flashback

"Dang Marik! Trying to confuse us with his logic" Anakin Kenobi said, Hannah nodding her agreement.

Many "I'm sorries" for crappiness of this chapter. It will get better I promise!

Bakura: Ra danged child! Smacking me like that! I'll get her!  
Elise: Oh YEA!

Bakura: YEA!  
Elise: BRING IT! (Pulls out lightsaber) let's go "security man"!  
Bakura: Looks at lightsaber, runs away crying

Elise: I would feel bad for him, but I don't.

Please read and review! Thankies!


	5. Chapter 5 : Marik vrs The Little People

Chappie 5: Marik vrs.The Little People.

Disclaimer: I don't own the majority of what I am writing about.

First I would like to say "Thanks" to those who have read the story thus far, and also a very special "thanks" to the person that reviewed!

Warning: Evil little people and some swearing in this chappie. ENJOY!

Atem, who was working in another part of the ship at the time (he had just managed to get his hikari to settle down), was busying himself by cussing at the fused control box that had been fused by Yami Marik. "Ra damned Yami Marik and his stupid Millennium Rod! May they burn in the Shadow Realm!" His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and a short, tri-colored haired boy came walking in, wearing an engineering uniform. (Yugi had offered to help the engineering staff).

Atem didn't have to look to see who it was. But he didn't turn to greet him either. Yugi stepped up to his dark, and said "Atem? What's wrong?" Atem didn't say anything right away. Then he pointed at the box "Stupid Marik! Look what he did!" Yugi tried not to giggle.

Meanwhile, Malik, who had just come from helping his yami fuse the box, was busying himself by trying to get his brand new Starfleet issued communicator out of his hair. "Damn Marik!" he thought as he was trying (and failing spectualarly) not to pull out any of his hair in the process. "Evil Rod! Stupid Yami!" he grumbled as he fell over in his chair. "Owie!"

Isis, on the other hand, (she had come aboard when Marik and Malik did), was busying herself with trying to get Shadi away from that good for nothing Vulcan whore-creature that was known as "T'Pol". Shadi had been spending more and more time with her, and less with Isis. Isis, while plotting T'Pol's demise, was watching "Late Show With Conan O'Brien!" (A/N: don't own). She was laughing so hard that she momentarily forgot about the Vulcan. But then she forgot about what Conan was talking about, and went back to plotting. Then a scary thought came into her mind, "OH NO!" she shrieked. "I'm TURNING INTO YAMI BAKURA!" she ran off screaming.

Bakura, who had rescued Ryou from the clutches of Mary, was walking down the corridor when they thought that they heard a woman screaming. They just shrugged at this. "So, Bakura" Ryou began innocently, "what have you been up too?"

"Why? Who wants to know!" Bakura asked, looking at Ryou questionably.

Ryou just sighed and shook his head.

Somewhere else in another part of the ship, a yami was laughing evilly. Or at least he was until he came upon a pack of little people. "Who the hell are you all?" Marik demanded, eyeing the group of girls.

One of the girls stepped forward. She was blonde, had blue eyes, and an attitude to boot. "Who wants to know?" she demanded, placing her hands on her hips. _Oh! They got me with their logic!_ Marik thought. He sweat dropped.

He was about to banish them to the Shadow Realm when he noticed that they were caring lightsabers. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOT AGAIN! EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!" he screamed, running in the other direction.

Elise Kenobi turned back to the group; "Baka Marik!" she laughed evilly.

Yami Bakura: stupid Marik!  
Me: You were scared of Elise too, you know.

Bakura: So? She scared Marik.

Marik: Ra damned (mutterings).

Seto: The child…..

Elise: I HAVE A NAME!

Seto: (Grr) fine! _Elise _can fight.

Elise: Thank you Mr. Kaiba (gives Seto a hug).

Seto O.O!

Elise: 

Me: Aww, how cute.

Review please!


	6. Chapter 6: So this is why Ariel's messed

Chappie 6: Where Are We? And Who Is That White Haired Girl?

(A/N: I'm moving the story to the 24th Century, nothing against the one that I was in (the 22nd), but I know more about the 24th. Sorry for any more confusion this may cause.)

Disclaimer: I only own a tiny bit about what I am writing about, ok?

Warning: An angry child with an attitude. Enjoy!

Bakura and Ryou found themselves face to face with the group of girls that had just encountered Marik. Bakura gasped when he saw who one of the ring leaders was; his very own two year old daughter named Ariel. "Ariel!" he said pointing at the little carbon copy of himself. "What are you doing here?" he put his hands on his hips. Ryou slapped his forehead, knowing what was coming. Ariel stepped forward and stepped on Bakura's foot. "Owie! What was that for!" Bakura hissed as he jumped up and down, rubbing his foot. Ariel just looked at him for a second before she said anything. "Mean DADDY!" she screamed, making Bakura's ears ring. (She's two remember, she's having a tantrum).

Elise looked at Lisa, who was her little sister "Thank goodness that you're out of that," she said. Lisa nodded her agreement. Then they both turned back to Bakura, who looked like he was doing some sort of dance that they had never heard of.

Then, Lisa walked up to her friend, put a hand on her shoulder, and said loudly: "COMPUWTER! END PROWGRAME!" The hallways of the NX-01 gave way to the bright lights of a DS9 holosuite. Lisa thought that she could hear a certain Ferengi C.E.O yelling at them from the other side of the door. But Seto quickly took care of that by threatening Quark (they didn't like each other all that much) with one of his blue eyes.

Quark quickly backed away from the door, and Seto smirked to himself, "I showed him".

Hannah rolled her eyes; "Please," she whispered under her breath. The other Jedi trying hard not to laugh. Luckily, Kaiba didn't hear it.

Bakura was still rubbing his foot.

Me: Course you writer's block! May You Rot in The Shadow REALM ! DIE!

Atem: She's lost it.

Bakura: That's my GIRL!

Review please! Note that any flames will be given to Yoda to help warm his house.

Yoda: More kindling, I will need.


	7. Chapter 7:Meet Ariel's MOM!

Chappie 7: Ariel's Mother Revealed!

Disclaimer: I own almost nothing in this story.

Warning: An angry Yami with a stepped on foot, a choked Ferengi, and randomness.

Enjoy!

Bakura finally stopped "dancing" long enough to look at Ariel. She was sight to be seen. She had white hair and brown eyes, and a thin mouth. She was just as pale as Ryou and Bakura. (A/N: I know that I already explained this in the other Chapter, sorry).

She **_looked_** like Bakura, but acted more and more like her mother; a Jedi named Daria Skywalker. Bakura and Daria had been married at the time that she was pregnant. But Bakura left shortly after Ariel's birth, and Daria had refused to let him see their daughter until she was a year and a half.

Bakura shuddered at the thought of Daria, with her long brown hair and blue eyes. Why he had ever married her, he would never know. Ariel stepped forward again, this time with tears in her young eyes, "I want my mommy!" she declared.

Yami Marik covered his ears (their still in the holosuite, remember?) and closed his eyes. One Bakura making a scene was bad enough, but too? That was just wrong.

Malik tried to help make little Ariel feel better by making faces, but all that did was make her cry even harder. He threw his hands up in defeat, "I tried" he declared walking back to his yami. Atem and Yugi giggled.

Elise stepped forward, placed her hands on her hips, and looked directly at Malik saying dead on "**_You_** didn't help any though".  
She then noticed that Marik had his hands up to his mouth, trying to cover his laugh.

Atem, Akasha, and Yugi all shot glares at Malik, and Marik just looked at him funny.

The former Pharaoh stepped forward and cleared his throat; "Malik," he began evenly, "if you ever make faces like that again, I will personally…." He was cut off by the sound of a door opening.

A tall, beautiful figure stood cloaked. It walked into the suite using graceful steps.

Once it was inside, it removed its hood, revealing a face that Bakura had not expected nor wanted to see. "WOMAN!" he spat, pointing at Daria, "What in RA's Name are **_you_** doing here!" he demanded.

Daria stepped forward, her long brown hair tied up in a pony tail. "I'm here **_dear husband_**, because I could sense a great sadness coming from **_our_** daughter" she said evenly. Ariel stepped out of Lisa's grasp and ran to her mommy, casting Bakura some very nasty glances along the way.

Bakura stuck his tongue out.

Ryou slapped Bakura.

Ariel laughed and said a quick "Tenk you" to her Uncle Ryou.

"You found that funny?" Bakura asked her when he had recovered. Ariel nodded.

"We all did!" Marik said, laughing.

"Why?"

"Because it was funny Tomb Robber!" Atem said, trying to keep his sides from splitting. At his side Yugi was rolling on the floor and Malik was hyperventilating.

Seto, meanwhile, was busy choking Qaurk, who had come to inform him that his Starfleet issued credit card had been rejected. "REJECT ME WILL YOU!" he said, and then he caught a glimpse of all the people that were looking at him. He dropped the Ferengi and muttered a quiet "I'm sorry".

Qaurk muttered some course words in Ferengi, got up, and left. Seto rolled his eyes, "Idiot" he said.

Yugi, who had finally gotten up from the floor, looked at Hannah, worried. "Um, Hannah? Where are we going to stay?" he asked.

Hannah only smiled and said: "Follow me".

Everyone filed out behind the Jedi, only to walk from one shock into another. The lights! The sounds! The Gambling! The biggest shock however, came when they all got a look at who was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs: Another hooded figure, and at his side, a stunning human woman who was clearly in a command position. Next to them was a golden looking human male with black hair that was slicked back.

"Greetings" it said.

Bakura screamed like a little kid; "IT TALKS!"

The woman stepped forward, "Welcome to DS9, my name is Capt. Catherine Skywalker, and this is my husband: Luke".

Luke stepped forward and put his hood down. "Hi!" he greeted warmly to almost everybody. "Bakura" he said when he caught a glimpse of the former Tomb Robber.

Bakura was still looking at the non human though, "Who's that?" he asked, pointing at it.

"Data jr" it replied.

Bakura gulped; "I'm screwed" he said.

Ryou patted his back; "Yep, you are".

Data jr. just looked at them, confused. "I'm not Odo, he is", he gestured at a cup that was standing near by. It began to change its shape.

Bakura, seeing this, did what any normal being would have. He started screaming like a little kid and ran in circles. Ariel just rolled her eyes.

Ryou smacked Bakura.

Bakura began crying then.

Atem grabbed Bakura, slapping him, adding: "You're a STARFLEET OFFICER MAN! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!"

Me: Wow that was ….. Long.

Bakura: O.O! I have a FAMILY!  
Me: Yep, but not for long.

Bakura: O.O!

Seto: I got to choke Qaurk! Go ME!

Review please……


	8. Chapter 8: Bakura gets divorced!

Chappie 8: Bakura's divorce.

Warning: Drama. Sorry.

Disclaimer: What do you all think?

In the middle of all the activity, Odo shoved some papers into Bakura's arms. Marik, who was bored mindless, peered over Bakura's shoulder. "Can a Jedi ask for a divorce?" he asked. Daria nodded.

"WHAT! YOU WANT ALL OF MY RICHES!" Bakura spat when he was done looking the paper over. Again, Daria nodded. "WHY!"

"One : to pay off the HUGE debt that YOU owe to the whole galaxy, and TWO: to help pay for Ariel's education".

Bakura mumbled something under his breath.

Elise shrugged; "you should have signed the pre-nup" she said.

Bakura signed the papers; casting a look at Daria, he asked: "Why did I ever marry you?"

"Because," she began. " At one point we were in love, but then you went and joined the Emperor and tried to kill the two of us".  
Bakura, for once, had no snappy come back.

"But he did manage to send the Empeor back to the Shadow Realm" Marik said, patting Bakura's back.

Flashback:

"And now Emperor, I will show you a magical place that a lucky few have ever seen" Bakura said as he sent Palpatine back to the shadows.  
End Flashback.

"And he got Leia a fleet too" Marik finished.

A sudden thought came to Bakura's mind, he glanced up at Daria and asked "I can still be apart of Ariel's life? Right?"

"Well, yeah, I don't want her to grow up resenting me" Daria said.

"And we also don't want to happen to her what happened to our cousin Jaina (A/N: don't own)" Hannah said.

Everyone lowered their heads and said together : "Poor Jaina".

Sorry for all the Drama, it will get better, I promise!  
Bakura: I got my daughter back! YAY!


	9. Chapter 9: Yami Bakura's worst nightmare

Chappie 9: This is Getting Weird.

Warning: Capt. Jack Sparrow, and some other weirdness.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh, Stars Trek or Wars, Or Pirates of The Caribbean.

Enjoy!

While this was all going on, outside of Quark's was just as busy. And weird too. A couple of pirates named Jack Sparrow and Will Turner were looking for someone named Barbosa. (The found him trying to hide in the bar). The three of them started to fight, that is until Bakura got sick of them at threw one of his shoes at them, knocking them out.

"Bloody Pirates" he muttered under his breath.

Ariel made a face.

Elise and Lisa made gagging noises.

Atem and Yugi exchanged glances with each other.

Seto looked superior.

Malik and Marik were busying themselves by watching the Dabo! Table. Well actually, Marik was trying to put the moves on Ezri Dax. But she quickly got away from him.

"She'll be back" Marik thought to himself, "she digs me".

"If you will all follow me please" Catherine cut in, breaking his thoughts, "I will show you all to your quarters" she lead the way out.

Me: Sorry for the shortness of this chappie, I'm working on making them longer.

Review please.


	10. Chapter 10: The Quarters and whos that?

Chappie: 10 : The Quarters!

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! NOTHING I TELLS YA!

When everyone had been shown their quarters, they decided that they would go and visit other members of the group to see what they had gotten. They were shocked that they had, for the most part, gotten the same type of quarters!

(They also laughed when they saw that Bakura's and Ryou's quarters were a lovely shade of green). This angered Bakura because he rather fancied the color red. Blood Red. Not this green stuff, which was going to be the first thing that he sent to the Shadow Realm whenever he could. Ryou didn't like the green either, the shape that the quarters were in. "Why does it have to be this dark? Or this angular?" he asked, looking around. Bakura was busy though, cursing at the wall, and thus, could not be bothered with what Ryou was thinking.

Atem and Yugi liked their quarters very much, mostly because of the fact that they had bunk beds. And that they replicator was so close.

Malik and Marik got one look at their quarters, shuddered as they got settled in, and then went back to Quark's Bar to watch the Dabo table again. (Marik wanted to see, also if Ezri would return). It was at the bar where the two Ishtar's ran into Tea! "ACK! NO! NOT HER! NOT HER!" screamed Malik as he clinged onto Marik, who was trying to banish Tea with his Rod. Tea walked right up to them, and smiled. "Hi Malik, and Marik! Can I get you something to drink?" she asked. Marik shook his head, Malik was too afraid to talk.

"Why are you here you evil woman!" Marik snapped. Malik shook his head in agreement. "Because the authoress put me here," she replied. (Me: Smiles Isn't that the truth). "And LOOK WHAT I HAVE TO WEAR!" she cried, pointing to the outfit that was a cheap rip-off of Princess Leia's from when she was Jabba The Hutt's slave girl. (A/N: One: Don't own either of those two, and Two: Think of that what you will, I'll leave that up to your perverted minds, lol).

Marik and Malik decided right then and there that something needed to be done, so they did the only thing that they could. **_"MIND CONTROL!"_**

Some time later, back at the Dabo! Table, Tea found herself being questioned by Quark. Or rather, she was being given the riot act for letting Malik and Marik win round after round of the game while she was under their control. "**_HOW COULD YOU LET THE TWO OF THEM CONTINUE TO PLAY DABO! ROUND AFTER ROUND! WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH THAT HEW-MON MIND OF YOURS ANYWAYS! ARE YOU DEAF! ANSWER ME!" _**He demanded. Tea chose to say nothing though. Quark took that as a sign to continue ranting, which he did "ARE** YOU _TRYING_ TO RUIN ME? ANSWER ME HEWMON!" **

Still Tea said nothing, hoping that the Ferengi would get so mad that he would say those two magic words that she had been wanting to hear since she had gotten the job. When he said those words, Tea felt like she was on top of the world: **_YOU'RE FIRED! GET OUT OF MY BAR! AND RETURN THAT UNIFORM AT ONCE!" _**

Tea returned the uniform, but neglected to tell Quark that she hadn't bothered to pay or clean it. He would have to do it. With that all said and done, she skipped out the door.

Me: Sorry to all the Tea fans for the bashing. It had to be done.

Bakura: NO! NOT HER! NOT TEA!  
Tea: I HAVE ARRRIVIVED!  
Me: Oye.

Me: Read and Review Please(NO FLAMES! ALL FLAMES WILL BE USED AGAINIST QUARK'S BAR!)

Quark: MY BAR! NO!  
Bakura: holds up shiny phaser against "Quark's Bar"

Quark: runs away crying My BAR!

Bakura: Thought so. Starts laughing evily again


	11. Chapter 11: Marik and Seto's annoying so

Chappie: 11: Marik's annoying song

Disclaimer: Why do I have to KEEP SAYING IT? I don't own anything!

Tea had been dancing (in her own clothes) about like the person that she is when she ran into Atem, who was getting ice. "Ra damned ice! WHY MUST YOU BE SO HEAVY!" he ranted as he walked. When he looked up, he saw that he was about to run into Tea. "Tea!" he greeted, nearly dropping the bucket. "Oh! Hi Atem!" Tea smiled back, waving.

Atem felt himself blush. "Um," he stammered, looking for the right words. "I have to go now, gotta give this bucket of ice to the midg- I mean my aibou's –and my quarters," he said quickly, running as fast as he could. Tea just stood there confused, then shrugged and continued dancing until she got back to her quarters. Which was directly across the hall from Seto Kaiba's.

In Seto's quarters:

Seto, meanwhile, was dancing like a drunk pirate (A/N: don't own). He was also torturing Yugi with the Disney song : "A Pirates Life For Me". Yugi had never, ever felt so sick in his entire life. Luckily, Atem showed up with the ice. "Oh my RA! KAIBA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN FRONT OF MY AIBOU!" Atem demanded.

Kaiba just kept on dancing, ignoring him.

Marik had also been singing "A Pirates Life", but had forgotten most of the words, and thus made up his own. (Most of which was in Egyptian, and is still being translated as we speak).

(Malik is working on it! Don't worry).

"Damn Marik! Slow down! I can't put more then ten words into this thing for it to work right!" Malik said, on the verge of breaking the data pad. Marik just continued to sing faster and faster, just to annoy his hikari.

"GRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

Meanwhile, Bakura, who had not been singing the pirates song, but had heard it over and over again coming from the Ishtar's quarters. (They're neighbors). Had had enough "SHUT UP WILL YOU WITH THAT DAMNED SONG!" He shouted. "NO!" Marik answered back, adding "EVERYONE DO THE 'PIRATE'!"

Bakura swore under his breath.

_Marik,_ he thought evilly, _is gonna pay for this!_

Me:OOOoooooooo…………. A CLIFFY!

Bakura: BAKA MARIK! BAKA SONG!

Marik: My song shall continue! (goes off singing again).

Me: Oh, brother.

Read and Review please! NO FLAMES! Any flames that are submitted will be handed to the Jedi to use against SITH LORDS!

Sith lords: WHAT!  
Jedi: Start laughing.

Me: O.O! Anyways, please review:)


	12. Chapter 12: RYOU

Chappie12: The Search for Marik's Brain and Ryou's finally had it with Bakura!  
Disclaimer: (As done by Yami Bakura) "Mary does not own the following: Yu-Gi-Oh! Star Trek, Star Wars, That Pirates song that she used in the last chapter. MY GOD THAT IS A MOUTH FULL WOMAN!"

Me: Slaps Bakura.

Bakura: Owie!

Me: Anyways, on with the story!

Marik must have heard what Bakura was thinking, because he got some friends of his from security (he works there remember?) to help him deal with the other yami.

Bakura had also been thinking about asking some of **_his_** friends from security to help him out, but then they would want something in return.

All of those thoughts left his brain however when he saw who was going to be helping Marik: Atem, Yugi, Akasha, Seto, Tea, The whole crew of Jedi, Most of The Order Of the Phoenix (A/N: I don't own Harry Potter either).

He suddenly felt very afraid for his undead life. So he went to the only people that he could trust. They included: Ariel, the engineering staff of DS9, (Miles O'Brien, Joey Wheeler, Tristan Taylor, And Duke and Serenity Devlin).

He really had no choice but to work with them. Well, he could have sent the creator of the song to the Shadow Realm, but Walt Disney was already dead so that wasn't going to help him any right now.

And Marik was already dead too! BAKA! This was not going very well at all for Bakura.

_Stupid!_ He thought to himself,_ stupid plan! Now I have to go back to the drawing board! AGAIN! _He pulled out a HUGE drawing board out of nowhere. "That's going to hurt tomorrow" he said to himself. Shaking himself out of his current thoughts, he began planning against Marik.

Four hours, and many thrashed plans later, "RA!" was heard all over the station. The other yami's had to cover their hikari's ears.

Ariel made one of her most famous faces (A/N: she smiled just like Bakura), and Daria wondered if she was doing the right thing by having Bakura be involved her life.

Bakura pulled back the drawing board, his head aching from all the thinking that he had just did.

Ryou felt the same headache, "Ra damned Bakura!" he muttered to himself. "Giving me headaches all the time!" He took some aspirin and went to lay down his side of the room. He was just about to close his eyes when Bakura chose that moment to start cussing in Egyptian.

_Damn!_ Thought Ryou. _Stupid Bakura! I'll get him for this!_ With that, Ryou smiled evilly and began to plot Bakura's punishment.

Ryou: Oh Bakura!  
Bakura: EEEP! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
Me: (Hands Bakura some chill pills).

Bakura: Me feels goody! (He starts jumping around).

UPDATING NOTICE: My family from D.C. is coming for a visit next weekend, so I will try to get the next chapter up before then.

Also, I need ideas (and weapons too) about what Ryou should do to Bakura as a Punishment. You can put them into your reviews. THANX!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Ryou vs. Bakura vs. Sanity.

A/N: Sorry that this took so long to update! T.T. I have been so busy! I hope that this chapter makes up for all the waiting. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own YUGIOH! Star Trek, Star Wars, or D.C. Comics. Or anything else that I am writing about.

Ryou, who had drawn up at least thirty, maybe more, ideas as to how to torture Bakura, was sitting in a chair. Exhausted. Nothing that he could think of worked. Including weapons, (which included phasers, torpedoes, and maybe a run about), or subjecting him to the movies: **_Shattered Glass _**(don't own), and** _Rent_** But Ryou liked both of those movies to much to subject them to Bakura. What he did decide to do to Bakura was to play some songs by an earth artist known as Britney Spears. (Sorry I had too).

When Ryou started to play "**_Ops! I did it again!_**" Bakura ran around in circles, screaming and covering his ears.

"HIKARI!" he yelled over the song, "Why are you doing this to me?"

Ryou just snickered evilly.

"Because I can, that's why!"

Bakura ran for his undead life.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Meanwhile, on another part of the station, Yugi, Atem, Seto, and Mokuba were trying to find a place to eat. They had decided on going to the promenade, as they didn't like the way that the replicators made everything taste weird.

"How about this place?" Yugi asked, pointing to a Romulan Sandwich Shop.

"NO!" Came the reply.

So they walked on.

"What about Quarks?" asked Mokuba, pointing to the restaurant as they walked on by. Seto shuddered violently. "No," he said threw gritted teeth. He hated that stupid no good ferengi. He would probably just choke him again if they were in the same room. Yugi and Atem just shook their heads.  
"Seto," Atem began wearily, "It's not the Ferengi's fault that your credit card was declined".

Seto glared at Atem.  
Atem stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry.  
Mokuba sighed, and they walked on. Yugi put a reassuring hand on the young Kaiba's shoulder. "I'm sure that we will find a place soon" he said easily, a smile growing wide on his face.

Mokuba smiled back, "Thanks Yugi".

"No problem".

"Hey," Atem said, pointing to the Klingon restaurant that over looked most of the rest of the station's biggest shopping center. "How about this place?"

_Hm, _thought Seto, _this place could be interesting, and it has been a while since I had some good Klingon cuisine. _  
What he said aloud was: "Why not? I'm starving and nothing else looks good. What does everyone else think?"

Yugi, Mokuba, and Atem looked at each other and nodded. "Great!" Seto said, "The Klingon place it is".

"This place sounds like fun Big Brother!" Mokuba exclaimed as they say down.

When they sat down, a tall and lanky Klingon female named Katheranack approached their table.

She slapped their menus down in front of them, causing each of them to look at her strangely. Yugi was the first to speak up.

"How's your bloodwine?" he asked, glancing over the menu.

"It is well this afternoon, would you like some?" Katheranack asked.

Yugi nodded.  
Atem gave his hikari a look, asking simply: "Hikari, do we need to have "The Talk"?"

Yugi rolled his eyes, "Come on, like you're so perfect?" he asked.

Atem smiled widely, "I am," he said proudly.

Seto made a gagging noise.

Atem gave him a look, but went on, assuming the "Superman" position (A/N: don't own). "I fight for truth, justice, and THE DUELMONESTERS WAY!" Atem said happily, placing his hand on his heart.

"And I fight for Wonder Woman" Mokuba said with a laugh.

"And I fight for Batman's money!" Seto added for good measure.

"Atem, have you been in the Romulan ale lately?" asked Yugi, trying hard not to laugh.

Atem shook his head. Seto glowered at him. "Sit down you idiot, your causing people to look!" He pointed to the joining table where the people were staring at Atem, some of them laughing.

Their thoughts were interrupted by the sound of screaming. They turned around to see a sight that they thought that they would never see again. Yami Bakura, running like a little girl from _his_ hikari, and screaming "NOT THE MACE! ANYTHING BUT THAT! OH RA PLEASE HELP ME!"

Ryou, who looked like the joker-menus the green and red makeup-was laughing like Lex Luther, (but with hair!). And wielding a maze screaming like the Wicked Witch of the West (don't own).

Four pairs of eyes arched up into confusion.

"Ryou? Are you ok?" Yugi asked, concerned.  
Ryou just turned to him and laughed.

End of chapter.

A/N: Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I hope to be writing longer chapters again. Thanks to all of those who reviewed, it means a lot to me.


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